The Decision that Changed My Life by Ganel-Lyn Condie

Author:Ganel-Lyn Condie
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Decisions;LDS;Latter-day;Saint;Mormon;Janice;Kapp;Perry;Pinegar;Inspiraion;Stories;True;Marriage;Mission;Planning;Children;guidance;ripple;effect;affect
Publisher: Covenant Communications, Inc.
Published: 2017-01-05T00:00:00+00:00

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20 Jeremiah 1:5.

21 Doctrine & Covenants 84:88.

22 Isaiah 40:31.

Ripple Effect

Open Adoption

By Wendy Toomer

Esthetician and mother

Ever since I was a little girl, my mom, Susan, has told me to keep a journal, which I have never done. Ever. I think I maybe have one diary that chronicles ages eleven to eighteen. It’s mainly filled with names of boys I liked at the time and how mad I was because of a girl at school or something like that. I didn’t record anything important. I maybe wrote a paragraph twice a year. If I had been a journal keeper, I would have a more daily record of my feelings of growing up . . . knowing.

I don’t remember being told. I have always known I was adopted. There was never a big, earth-shattering reveal or an emotional conversation. My mom and dad were always honest. I just knew from an extremely young age that Cherie was my birth mother. Of course, while I was growing up and even now, there are endless questions.

In second grade, a friend asked me how I liked “living with my stepmom” and if I wished I was still with my “real mom.” People are just curious and uneducated about adoption. When I am asked the tough questions, those platforms are opportunities to talk about my positive experience. To teach and enlighten others. I have never once felt judged or different from anybody else. I am totally unashamed of the fact that I am adopted.

Growing up included being around Cherie all the time. In my baby scrapbooks, there are tons of pictures of us together throughout the years. As a tween, old enough to make my own choices surrounding my adoption, I still chose to spend time with her. Spending time together wasn’t forced; a relationship with Cherie formed naturally. The ball was always in my court. Multiple times a year I would visit Cherie. Wherever we lived or wherever she lived, since both our families moved often, I still visited. We had a fun tradition of spending every New Year’s Eve together. Up until I got married and started my own traditions, that continued. I can even remember spending an Easter holiday together. Every year, Cherie sends me a birthday present and a Christmas present. My relationship with her husband, Jeff, and five children is wonderful as well.

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Our relationship is compared more to being best friends, not mother and daughter. Sometimes Cherie and I joke that we are the exact same person. She hates seafood; I hate seafood. I love British dramas and movies, and so does she. One time, we had a Jane Austen movie marathon. I think we watched Pride and Prejudice and at least three other movies that night and pigged out on Marion berry pie ice cream, our favorite. Physically, we look alike, with brown hair and blue eyes. The similarities are endless. One of the reasons I love my open adoption so much is because it leaves no room for unanswered questions.

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